My smile…

Stretches from like,
HERE…………………………………….to……………………………………HERE.
Gosh, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you both! YAY! (((((((: Love you both!!!

Blackbird, fly.

You are my song in the morning
My lullaby in the night
The solid rock on which I hold onto
On Your wings I will soar
In You I find my freedom
You are my inspiration

Take these broken wings
And learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

-The Beatles, Blackbird

Where I stand.

Here I stand with my heart in my hands
I’ve done all I can
It’s all up to You

Okay.

I am okay.
I am okay.
I’m not okay.
I will be okay.
It’s okay.

Leave it all behind.

Once again for the fourth time in three hours, I find myself staring at a blank space of my wall imagining myself to be somewhere else rather than here. I wonder what has happened to me. I seemingly need more bandages both metaphorically and literally to patch up those parts of me that has been broken. I probably couldn’t count every scar on two hands and two feet. Caught up in between dreaming and sleeping, life has gotten me to this place where nothing really moves, just time, really.

I’m walking down a crowded NY street. It’s Christmas in the city. Like, really Christmas. Snow, everyone huddled up in heavy trenchcoats and colourful mittens, holding cups of hothotchocolate. Boots crunching in the snow; etc. I’ve always wanted to spend a Christmas in NY, just because. The pretty shop windows, with all the Christmas lights, every kid on the street peering into shops and pressing their noses against the glass, and drawing smiley faces in their condensed breaths. Heck, the snow is a good enough reason for me to want to be there. I’d spend hours skating at Rockafella Centre, in front of the huge Christmas tree, watching people glide along ice, some hand in hand, others just smiling and being content with the fact that tis’ the season to be jolly, like me. Then maybe sit at some random bench in Central Park, counting down, wondering and wishing.

Snap back to real time. Wanderlust has to wait. I need to get myself out of this rut first before I can move anywhere else. It definitely is taking longer than usual. Be there to pull me out please?

Use[less]words.

I sit and stare at the open window on my laptop screen, it’s empty face looking back at me questioningly.
What do I say?
I’ve missed this, being able to say hi for nothing but finding everything to talk about. I’ve missed hearing you on the other side of the line, knowing that you were listening and I would wish with everything that you were just beside me instead. I miss[ed] you.
That would be it, that would be all.
I click the little ‘x’ at the top right corner of the little window.
It wouldn’t matter anymore.

You have no idea…

how much it would mean,
how amazing it would be,
how much I need that,
how much I do, and wished you did.
-
back to wanderlust.
It’s the usual, everywhere but here.

-

-

Gmail – Inbox (0)
-
Wake up your idea Mish. Seriously.

Rust.

I am perpetually checking my email, hoping for that ONE email that will make my day. Like perpetually I mean refreshing the page tenthousandtimes [yes I know gmail does it auto] kinda way. I have till Tuesday, and I’m really praying veryveryveryhard. That aside, I’m glad I’m taking chances I never would have a year ago, cos I am getting somewhere with them. I know I still have a long way to go, there is no time to get a bighead but to keep learning and knowing that I am incredibly blessed. And to be thankful. Whatever has turned to ash, I can only pray will become beautiful once again.

You still amaze me.

Made the leap,
Took the fall,
You’re at the end
To catch me.
All I need to know.
I pray you are
More than
Worth it.
For with You,
I am complete